**** I was searching through my sent mail for something, and came back across this email I sent out in December. It made me laugh again, so I figured I'd put it up here too. And being that its Monday morning, I thought it was a fitting time. Added note: At the moment, the kitties are quietly sleeping...for now. ****
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It was a cold and sunny morning... I had just came home from a very long and frustrating shift at work... My two "children" met me at the door, looking a little hungry but happy and full of energy... They offerred me no sign of what I was to find further into the house... Minutes passed before I made my way towards the living room in order to answer the shrilling ring of the telephone... As I approached the telephone, my eyes wandered towards a brillant puddle of red on the floor in front of the chair... I gasped in horror as I realized what I was seeing...the beautiful, handmade-with-love, christmas tree skirt had been ripped from its home in the dead of the night and strangled, splayed out in a vulnerable heap for just anyone to gape at!. I held back my tears as I desperately tried to analytically look at the crime scene. Who could have done such a vile thing to such a beautiful skirt, made with the sweat and tears and love of my dear friend Amanda? I thought of the possible suspects -- my dear Father who so nobly shoveled my snow and ice covered drive the night before - could he have snapped and taken his anger and frustration of decorating trees and packaging packages out on my dear tree skirt? Could someone have stolen my keys, came to my house, unlawfully entered my home, left my many jewels and electronics alone due to being mesmerized by the beauty of the tree skirt, became enraged at the thought of never being able to have such a beautiful skirt of their own that they killed off the beauty so that no one could possess it? I turned as I heard the thundering of feet aproaching me from behind, my heart leaping into my chest. Had the murderous villain returned to the scene of the crime?! I breathed a sigh of relief as I realized it was merely my two innocent, sweet, angelic cats coming to say thank you for finally feeding us breakfast at 12:00! While I petted them to say you're welcome, I began to realize that there may have been another scenario I was forgetting. These two angelic faces, while loving and sweet, do belong to two super active bodies of kitties less than 8 months old. Could they have possibly turned on their guardian and sole provider, showing their dissatisfaction with the time spent alone all day Saturday while I jetted off and played with the maker of said tree skirt, and again on Sunday while I tried to make some family money? Could they have become possessed by some evil poltergeist that forced them to run around like their tails are on fire, wrecking havoc on all that gets in their way? Or did the tree skirt's ribbons, which lovingly hold the skirt in place, become possessed and therefore the kitties were acting in a heroic manner to untie the ribbons and move the skirt before it could destroy our beloved Christmas tree?! It was as if a light bulb went off above my head in that moment. I realized that my two feline companions had saved Christmas in their act of bravery! They had rid the tree of its imminent danger and made sure that our tree would survive to see another Christmas Day.
As I write you this tale of heroism and near murder, my lovely "children" are leaping around my head, climbing up the chair, knocking possibly possessed books onto the floor, and making sure that we all live to see another day. If only we all could have such precious guardian angels looking out for us...
(Crime scene photos to follow)
Happy Monday to all!
Michelle
Disclaimer: The author of this email only slept from 12:30 to 4 this morning, went on a completely obnoxious and patience-testing call into Loyola, which built up to the grand finale of a car/ambulance accident on 90 with said author as the driver. Have no fear..there were no injuries in either party, minor ambulance damage, many curses towards the idiot asshole who caused it all and suffered no damage nor stopped, no tickets issued, lots of paperwork, calls from insurance agencies (while writing this email), and an occasional laugh. But said events may have lead to an overactive imagination, low blood sugar, and a very lengthy email describing the possible events of the last 24 hours in said residence. Hopefully a chuckle was passed on and all have a better Monday than I :)
The Christmas Guardian Angels
For Wendy:
While I doubt she will be the mother, they added a nice opening about the St Patty's Day party, leaving the possibility there.
